Standing in Line.
The queue is a means to a beginning, whereby we wait in line to arrive at the place where we can take action. Queuing courtesy is essentially British, and these are the rules.

I can be standing just 2 cm away from the next person, but I do not make eye contact, smile or chat. I must behave as though I am the only person waiting.

Even if I have left the oven on and are in fear of burning my dinner and the house down I must appear as though I have all the time in the world to stand in a line of humans, pretending that I am the only one there.

When it is my turn, I must be nonchalant, as though I would be quite happy to stand for the same length of time again. However if anyone believes me and tries to take my place I can pierce their foot with my stiletto or dig my pointiest elbow into their side.

After my turn I pass all the poor suckers who are still waiting with a huge smirk of satisfaction. I do this without meeting anyone’s eyes.

Exceptions
Only under fives or over sixty’s can show impatience. Under fives may whine, shriek, bawl or kick someone, who because of the ‘I’m really alone here’ rule pretends it has not happened even if in agony. Over sixties can do all of the above as well as hurrumphing loudly and making comments such as ‘you’d think they would have more staff, ’as though they were talking to themselves. This can be dangerous as it creates a shared awareness of the covert cauldron of impatience bubbling away in the atmosphere.

Queue jumpers.
Usually pensioners, their technique is to hover near the front of the line, watching for a possible gap. They lurk safe in the knowledge that nobody will look directly at them. When a gap appears they insert a shoulder and slide in. Alternatively they may drop a shopping bag and hobble into the gap amidst the general flurry and embarrassment of people having to acknowledge each other while gathering scattered cat food. Then they act as though they had always been there. We don’t challenge them because (a) it would mean breaking queue etiquette to converse with someone, (b) to pick on a pensioner would make us such meanies, (c) we’d be showing we are ‘bovvered’…our stiff upper lip says we aint!