Wishing you all a very very happy Christmas, with oodles of all you wish for yourself:-

Relatives who like each other and don’t fall out on Christmas Day.

Children who wait until after six, to start shrieking in delight, unwrapping presents and thrusting their new singing dancing bear in bed with you.

A turkey that defrosts and cooks in time.

At least a couple of programmes that you really want to watch, get to watch in peace, and which turn out to be as good as the the TV magazine promised.

No monstrous creations you have to wear on the day such as an outsize knitted patchwork jumper from your ancient gran because it may be the last thing she knits and the last Christmas she has the pleasure of seeing it worn.

Presents you really want; food or booze if relatives can’t run to the latest laptop, a giant flat screen tv or a holiday to the Seychelles.

Being allowed to snooze after the meal rather than being forced join a jolly, embarrasing Christmas walk with all your strange relatives through the streets where everyone knows you.

Nooky at some point (but not when relatives are likely to stagger in shouting ‘let’s play charades!’)