I had a sudden craving for pie and mash today, as served in the best traditional pie and mash shops. It was probably because the weather was cold with blustery wind and rain. Unfortunately London is a bit far to go, despite the craving so I’ll have to wait until my next trip.

Pie and mash shops were (and in parts, still are) a real staple of South, and East London life.

In the 18th and 19th Centuries these areas were populated, mostly by the working classes. Food providers had to offer robust dishes at reasonable prices to persuade customers to buy their wares.

The eel, caught in the River Thames was a cheap food, and minced meat baked in a pie with a side dish of mashed potato was very cheap to produce. Parsley sauce, known as, added a richer flavour and juiciness to the slightly bland, dry pie and mash. As many shops bake their own pies and make their own mash, each has it’s own special flavour.

The combination of pie, mash and liquor was an absolute hit, hence it’s survival today.

Most pie and mash shops were or are family businesses. Goddard’s Pie Shop in Greenwich was founded in 1890 by Albert Goddard and run as a family business through the generations to 2006/7. I believe it has now closed. M Manzes is the longest standing pie and mash outlet and once had five shops. Three remaining Manze pie and mash outlets in London are run by family members.

Modern pie and mash shops still look traditional from the outside and many still retain the blue green décor, wooden seats and marble table tops. The basic one or two pies, mash and liquor menus have expanded to include gravy, a range of pies, including vegetarian or curried, and pudding pies such as apple or plum.

If you are in, or planning a trip to London see

http://www.londoneats.com/search/bestworst.asp?WhichFoodType=Pie+and+Mash

http://www.londoneats.com/search/dosearch.asp?Rest_FoodType=Pie%20and%20Mash

I had a very spooky experience when I happened to pop into Tescos in Bexhill a couple of days after popping into the Eastbourne version.

Déjà vu on every aisle and every display. Wine sales, plates, signs were exactly duplicated, even to where they were placed. I could have been in either store. It may not be news to some of you, and I know stores are similar in layout, offers etc but never dreamed they tried to be as identical as possible.

How dreadful that someone in Scotland or Cornwall can enter a store and see exactly the same layout, products and prices as I do in Sussex. Thank goodness the staff are different,  although the uniforms keep them as anonymous as possible and  the store would clone them too if they could.

Tesco’s is obviously not the only one, but how awful that Britain with our individuality, quirks and eccentricities should have shops that have none.

I’ve just been watching Fawlty Towers again after many years and it is fantastic. The humour, the timing, characterisation and character interraction is just perfect and the scenario builds, layer on layer, adding tension and hilarity until the climax. the clothes, cars and decor is dated but the comedy sparkles as fresh as if written yesterday.

Other classic comedies have the same magic:-Dad’s Army, Please Sir, The Good Life, Porridge,George and Mildred, The Liver Birds, The Likely Lads, Bless this House, Steptoe and Son, The Young Ones, Some Mother’s Do ‘Ave ‘em, It ‘Aint Half Hot Mum, Butterflies, Father Ted, ‘Allo ‘Allo, Up Pompei, Last of the Summer Wine, Red Dwarf, League of Gentlemen, To the Manor Born, Rising Damp, Hancock’s Half Hour, ‘Allo ‘Allo, On the Buses, Father Dear Father, Are You Being Served…..and many more.

There is the odd current comedy that is good, but nothing compares to these!

There are a pair of swans on the pond in my village and every year they have a family of cygnets. The swans are so tame they lead their family up the road to local gardens or to graze bugs on the grass verges.

Sometimes they sit in the middle of the road and traffic has to wait for them to move or for a local to come out (eventually) to gently usher them off the road with a broom. This is perilous if done by anybody apart from those who have watched said swans, year after year, and know them well enough to do it properly. This means keeping a reasonable distance from the family, to come from the adult swan side and not the cygnets and to move slowly and gracefully rather than making any sudden movements so they get the idea of what you want them to do rather than that you are about to attack.

An angry swan protecting their young would could do some serious damage so they should be treated with respect.

The fact they are protected makes everyone more patient and they are an asset to any village or town pond which is safe enough for them to inhabit. Apart from their beauty and grace it’s wonderful to see the little grey gawky cygnets turn gradually into graceful swans. Families love watching them and it is nice, and even calming in this frenetic, fast, instant culture to have to wait on the whim of a swan in the road.

Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid But died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767

Tom Smith is dead, and here he lies, Nobody laughs and nobody cries; Where his soul’s gone, or how it fares, Nobody knows, and nobody cares. Newbury, England [1742]

Here lies the body of Margaret Bent. She kicked up her heels and away she went.
Winterborn Steepleton Cemetery, Dorsetshire, England

She was a suicide blonde -
Dyed by her own hand.

On a dentist: Stranger tread this ground with gravity.
Dentist Brown is filling his last cavity.
Edinburgh, Scotland.

Beneath this stone lies a merry lass
Who aimed for the brake and hit the gas.

This stone was raised by Sara’s Lord. Not Sara’s virtues to record For they are known to all the town. This stone was raised to keep her down.
Kilmurry Churchyard, Ireland

Grim death took me without any warning
I was well at night and dead at nine in the morning”,
Kent

Here lies Oakford Grain
Saw a light at the end of the tunnel
It was a train

“Here lies Johnny Yeast. Pardon me for not rising.”

Every village and town boasts little old teashops with waitresses in black uniforms and white aprons who carry little notepads and pencils and serve the tea from trays. Yet is possible to forget the tradition of afternoon tea for months or years.

However, once in a while, after a walk, or on holiday you can suddenly find yourself sipping hot tea and eating cucumber sandwiches, and while you do so you always vow that it is so nice that you will do it regularly.

A bone china tea service sits on a pure white tablecloth. The tea is piping hot and strong and there are cucumber sandwiches, scones with strawberry jam and cream and a selection of cakes and biscuits. The experience is artistic, gentle, relaxing and sociable.

Maybe the answer to our binge drinking culture is to close pubs early and encourage tea shops to stay open 24 hours.

The British are romantic but shy with it so you get the strange combination of reticence and romance or a romantic gesture with a nerdy or cheesy twist.

A bronzed Adonis with a six pack who wears sandals and socks.

A supermarket bouquet with the (special offer) price left on

Chocolates in a slightly squashed box.

An E-Valentine that you can tell has been sent to more than one recipient.

A surprise meal out, in Pizza Hut.

A beautiful sexy female admirer with a horsey laugh.

A bunch of carnations.

A present of sexy underwear (for her) two sizes too big.

A cuddly teddy in bright blue or pink

A printed love letter

A mini teddy, mug or key ring with ‘My Valentine’ followed by your name (misspelt.)

A present of socks with hearts on.

A tiny Valentine cake with icing that will break your teeth.

Pink valentine condoms

The potato has just been declared the safest food in Britain by food intolerance experts, YorkTest.com, who compiled a list of foods which cause the fewest allergic reactions,

The good old spud, which has been with us since the mid 1500’s has most of the vitamins we need for sustenance and can provide this for about 10 people on just one acre. The Irish potato famine came about because they relied on it so much, but it proved vital during the Second World War when we were encouraged to eat potatoes in place of bread.

What would we do without the humble spud, boiled, mashed, chipped, roast and part of the main meal of the day for many years (in fact it still is for many?)

While writing this I have just discovered a potato fan club - did anyone else know there was such a thing?

Also, 2008 is the International Day of the Potato and we are holding our own British Potato Day on Februay 3rd. Incredible. I’ve got to research what we do on the day, apart from eating potatoes, which we do daily anyway!

I think I’ll post some ideas on the 3rd in case anyone wants to join the celebrations.

Pantomimes are being performed in theatres, village halls and community centres throughout the land.
We all know what they are but to try and describe them to a visitor to this nation is more difficult.

A traditional Christmas play, loosely based on one of the fairytales or sometimes a mixture of a few of them, containing contemporary music and songs, some which the audience can participate in.

In it at least one man will be dressed as a woman, playing a female character and a woman is likely to be playing the prince, or lead male character. This is because it is funnier, and pantomimes were originally Mummers plays performed in manor houses by travelling players who were all male and had to take female and male roles.

Audience participation is vital, ‘oh yes it is!’ They expect to join in throughout by shouting ‘look behind you’ when the ‘villain’ appears behind the hero or heroine, and arguing the toss whenever the key character shouts ‘Oh yes it is, or oh no it isn’t!’ The audience will cheer for the heroes and boo or hiss at the villains, throughout. This includes adults in the audience, who seem to revert to childhood, as well as the children themselves.

Pantomimes run from December usually until end January, though sometimes mid February. Actors, TV personalities, pop stars and others take part in them and act as a magnet to encourage people to see the show.

Other sure events are that a couple of children will be invited to participate in something on stage and sweets will be thrown at the audience at the end.

They are quirky, eccentric, funny, full of contradictions and we love them. Maybe because in a way, they depict all the good, crazy aspects of Britain.

I heard on the news that the Government is going to provide  advance screening for serial killers.  Just as I was wondering why the heck evil criminals should be getting prestigious health benefits the report continued…such as heart disease, cancer and strokes.