Fox hunting is banned while intensive farming of chicken and pigs continues.

Two top chefs campaign against intensively farmed chickens while battery farming in which the chickens are kept in even worse conditions, is not mentioned.

The Government has a plan to extend the school day while promoting the work-life balance which encourages families to spend more time together.

Surveillance cameras everywhere help the police to bring criminals to justice.  Unfortunately there are not enough prisons to house them.

People can be prosecuted for creating a disturbance, or being noisy; but not if it is shops using the mosquito device to target youngsters.

Doctors, health professionals and youth workers give condoms to young people under the age of sixteen although the legal age of consent is sixteen.

The Government is trying to discourage our binge drinking culture a couple of years after changing licensing laws to allow pubs and clubs to stay open for 24 hours.

You can go to hospital to get well, and finish up more ill than you were in the first place.

Those that claim benefits unlawfully can be prosecuted but MP Derek Conway can use his parliamentary allowance to pay two of his sons thousands of pounds for checking emails and stuffing envelopes ‘apparently.’

We have a national obesity problem among children and young people, yet McDonalds has been approved to develop courses up to the equivalent of an A-level.

The British are romantic but shy with it so you get the strange combination of reticence and romance or a romantic gesture with a nerdy or cheesy twist.

A bronzed Adonis with a six pack who wears sandals and socks.

A supermarket bouquet with the (special offer) price left on

Chocolates in a slightly squashed box.

An E-Valentine that you can tell has been sent to more than one recipient.

A surprise meal out, in Pizza Hut.

A beautiful sexy female admirer with a horsey laugh.

A bunch of carnations.

A present of sexy underwear (for her) two sizes too big.

A cuddly teddy in bright blue or pink

A printed love letter

A mini teddy, mug or key ring with ‘My Valentine’ followed by your name (misspelt.)

A present of socks with hearts on.

A tiny Valentine cake with icing that will break your teeth.

Pink valentine condoms

Cards, cheesy presents, underwear, bouquets, chocolates and red hearts everywhere. It’s supposed to generate love and romance but actually generates far more in profit.

True romantic gestures can’t be purchased because they are either impulsive gestures straight from the heart, or carefully thought out plans that take time and effort – a surprise candlelit meal, a handful of wildflowers, a proposal in moonlight, a man’s coat draped over his partners chilly shoulders, fish and chips on the beach in the rain.

This video takes a while to load but has all you could want to know about the history of Valentines Day.

Oh sure, I could talk all day about Jimi Hendrix, Prince, Jimmy Page, Steve Vai, Brian May, Carlos Santana, Eddie Van Halen, Slash and the rest of them - all of them great guitarists. But these guitarists are the commercial heroes, and it’s about time to move the spotlight over to a few guitarists who have perhaps been overlooked by the general public for far too long. Thanks to the wonders of YouTube, I don’t have to make each and every one of you a mix tape.

Let’s get on with it, then… in no particular order, 10 guitarists you should really check out before you die:

Joscho Stephan
When he was just 20 years of age, Joscho Stephan had already become known around his native Germany as a brilliantly talented gypsy jazz guitarist. Following in the footsteps of gypsy jazz legend Django Rheinhardt (who had only 3 fingers on his left hand), Joscho still has his full complement of fingers, and boy does it show.

What really sticks out about Joscho’s playing is his near flawless technical skill, making even the fastest, most complex improvised passages seem like mere childsplay to the 28 year old. Take a look at his version of the classic Bossa Dorado - but if you really want to see his ferocious chopping potential on full blast, check out his interpretation of Django’s Tiger. Unreal.

Michael Hedges
Sadly killed in a car accident in 1997, Michael Hedges was a truly groundbreaking acoustic guitarist, who in many ways created sounds that had never before been heard on the instrument; as well as going some way towards popularising lesser-known variants of the guitar, such as the harp guitar. The seemingly strange techniques he employed while playing were generally more of a result of the challenging nature of the songs he wrote, rather than Hedges consciously attempting to be virtuosic. One thing’s for sure, though - this guy could play.

Hedges’ style was described variously by himself as “heavy mental”, “violent acoustic”, “wacka-wacka” and “deep-tissue gladiator guitar”, reaching his most prolific period during the early to mid 90s. Quirky and humble, Michael really shone during his live performances, in which he loved to interact with his audience. He often recited poems, chatted to the crowd whilst moving to yet another imaginative tuning, and occasionally encouraged them to join in with his performances (check out his truly enigmatic version of the Beatles’ Come Together). Sadly taken from us at the age of 44, Michael’s legacy lives on, but not enough for my liking. Here’s a video of him performing one of his own compositions, Aerial Boundaries.

Doyle Dykes
A fingerstyle guitarist with a wide variety of different styles, Doyle Dykes is an utterly irrepressible musician, and while the mention of his name too often brings confused faces and snorts of derision from the uninitiated, his music speaks for itself.

He’s into God in a big way, and his daughter is kinda hot. But that might just be me.

A great exponent of harmonics and the amusingly-named ‘nut bend’, Dykes often uses unusual tunings for his music, though his hands always seem to be able to keep up. Check out his awesome versions of the golden oldie, Avalon, and the Bye Bye Blues…

Nuno Bettencourt
As the lead guitarist for 80s funk rock outfit Extreme, Nuno Bettencourt is responsible for some of the most blazing guitar riffs and solos ever concocted by man. Sadly, Extreme (and Nuno) are nowadays primarily known for the sappy acoustic ballad More Than Words rather than the intense high-tempo rock/funk repertoire that made the band so great. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a cracking song. But there’s a lot more to the discography, and Nuno shines throughout.

Check out Nuno’s dazzling skills in this tidy yet emotive rendition of his own tune, Midnight Express. If you want some insane solos, do a couple of YouTube searches for the following Extreme tunes: Smoke Signals, Play With Me, He Man Woman Hater, Cupid’s Dead, and Mutha (Don’t Wanna Go To School Today). You’re welcome.

Jose Feliciano
I find it almost upsetting when I mention this name amongst fellow music lovers and am met with that same perplexed facial expression. This guy is an absolute legend, yet I can only seem to get a spark of recognition when speaking to the parents of the afore-mentioned music lovers.

First up, Jose is blind, and always has been, having suffered from congenital glaucoma from birth, but has constantly overcome this disability to become an internationally acclaimed and hugely respected musician. Here’s Jose in a recording from very early in his illustrious career, playing his own interpretation of Rimsy-Korsakov’s old favourite, The Flight of the Bumble Bee. Notice how he drops his pick at around 1:04, but carries on regardless, and gets away with it flawlessly. Mind-blowing.

Monte Montgomery
Renowned for the quality of his electric acoustic live shows, Monte Montgomery has finally begun to be recognised for his guitar skills thanks to various recent TV appearances, despite having a varied discography that stretches back to 1993.

An intense and enigmatic player, whether playing his own compositions or cover versions of others, Monte’s playing style sets him well apart from most guitarists - this is certainly one of the better (and more original) acoustic arrangements of Hendrix’s Little Wing that I have ever heard…

Tommy Emmanuel
In my opinion, Tommy Emmanuel does not belong on this list, since he’s actually quite well known in some places. But you’d be surprised at just how many people have let his marvellous playing pass them by.

An almost ridiculously accomplished guitarist, Australian Tommy started playing guitar at the age of 4, and by 1961 was a professional musician at the tender age of 6, having had no formal training. He remains one of the most talented and exciting fingerpickers around, and has played alongside many guitar legends, including two on this list (Doyle Dykes & Joscho Stephan), as well as Chet Atkins, Sir George Martin and John Denver.

Check out this video of a reduced version of one of his gigs, which gives you an example not only of his technical skill, but also his amazing variety.

Andy Mckee
Andy Mckee achieved internet celebrity status with his song Drifting, and to this date the video has amassed over 11 million views, and is one of the highest rated music clips on YouTube today. Yet mention his name at a party and you might get one guy whose sister’s boyfriend’s dog’s previous owner’s nephew once have heard the name. What the hell, guys. What the hell.

Just from listening to a small portion of his repertoire, it’s clear that Andy was influenced by Michael Hedges (amongst many others), and there are similarities in their styles; but it is also clear to see that Mckee is his own musician, often making use of complex guitar techniques and percussive slaps to bring an amazing level of depth to his solo work. God only knows how his brain keeps up with his fingers. Here’s another of his most popular videos on YouTube - an original composition called Rylynn.

John Jorgenson
Once again, personally I don’t feel like I should have to explain who John Jorgenson is, but hey. Jorgenson is a remarkably versatile musician, proficient not only on the guitar but also on the mandolin, piano, upright bass, clarinet, bassoon, saxophone, and a few other lesser-known instruments besides.

Best-known for his work with the Desert Rose Band and The Hellecasters, John is also a spectacular acoustic player - here’s him and his quintet playing Shine, a gypsy jazz piece that truly lives up to its title when John’s playing lead…

John Butler
This guy is actually a recent discovery for me, too, and while I’m not sure about how famous he really is around the world, I’ve been passing around this video like crazy and still haven’t met anybody who has ever heard of him - though after watching, I doubt many will ever forget.

Butler is renowned for his live performances, partly due to his humble beginnings as a busker in his home country of Australia. He combines styles from East and West elegantly - not many can pull off playing blues music with Celtic and Indian overtones, but this guy sure can.

So far I must have watched this video over 50 times, yet it still gives me goose bumps with every viewing. His obvious technical skill, combined with the way he pours his emotion into the tune, well, it creates something pretty special. Hey, you know what? Stop reading this rubbish and play the damned video. And yes, he has disgustingly long fingernails. Well spotted.

Before I sign off on this post, let me just clear this up right here - if you already know about most (or all) of these guitarists, then good on you. You have delved deeper than the lowest common denominator guitarists that have been thrust at you on a daily basis. Perhaps you know of a few guitarists who should, in your opinion, have been included on this very list. Feel free to contribute your own suggestions, instead of repeatedly telling me how much I suck for not picking your favourites, or for picking somebody who you would consider famous enough already. This list was made after many years of occasional frustration when speaking about my favourite guitarists around friends and musicians, and hearing the same names being thrust about as ‘definitive’ over and over again while these wonderful (in my opinion) musicians were utterly dismissed on the grounds of ignorance.

For those of you who haven’t heard many of these names, I personally guarantee that you will enjoy at least one of these guys. If you don’t, it’s very possible that you have no soul.

Now share these musicians so I don’t have to do this again. Hope you enjoyed the ride.

My litte Rover Metro has finally decided to call it a day and hang up his number plates after chugging me around town, on trips to Devon and Cornwall, days out in London and faithfully ferrrying me to work in other Sussex towns.

Now he (well you wouldn’t have a girl Rover now would you?) is leaking oil in great drips which make him seem as though he is bleeding, which a mechanic said was due to a cracked oil tank. Then there is the radiator which will soon need attention and is only currently held with some radiator leak stopping stuff (you can tell I’m mechanically minded can’t you?) His suspension is so low that I have to come to a halt and inch over sleeping policemen who stilll often graze his bottom. Then there are other problems like rust on the bodywork and high mileage which I have been warned about. The car itself cost less than half of what it will cost to put right and as an M reg I’ve been advised to let it go to the car burial ground (scrap heap.)

I will have to do without a car for the time being and keep trying to encourage myself with green thoughts, but it’s easier said than done when I often lug play equipment and junk around for children’s workshops, and live in a village.

Having had other bangers who have had to be scrapped, I know that there will be that wrench, as though the car were a real friend, when it first gets taken away followed by the feeling that I have forgotten something every time I go outside, and then suddenly realise I am now carless (I shouldn’t car-a-less, but I do!)

The potato has just been declared the safest food in Britain by food intolerance experts, YorkTest.com, who compiled a list of foods which cause the fewest allergic reactions,

The good old spud, which has been with us since the mid 1500’s has most of the vitamins we need for sustenance and can provide this for about 10 people on just one acre. The Irish potato famine came about because they relied on it so much, but it proved vital during the Second World War when we were encouraged to eat potatoes in place of bread.

What would we do without the humble spud, boiled, mashed, chipped, roast and part of the main meal of the day for many years (in fact it still is for many?)

While writing this I have just discovered a potato fan club - did anyone else know there was such a thing?

Also, 2008 is the International Day of the Potato and we are holding our own British Potato Day on Februay 3rd. Incredible. I’ve got to research what we do on the day, apart from eating potatoes, which we do daily anyway!

I think I’ll post some ideas on the 3rd in case anyone wants to join the celebrations.

This evening is the great tradition of Burns night where Scottish people unite to honour their greatest poet. Robert Burns was born on January 25th 1759 and died at the age of 37. A group of his friends started to gather on the anniversary of his death and the first Burns Clubs originated in the early 1800s.

His poetry captured the British imagination so that Burns night is not just confined to Scotland. It takes a creative and funny genius that can write beautiful poetry about love, life and haggis.

All around the country men will dress in kilts and women in evening dress to watch the haggis carried on a salver. A piper marches ahead, playing the bagpipes while a waiter brings a bottle of whisky and glasses for the chef and the piper.

The ‘Address to the Haggis, ’ Burns famous poem is read, and then the haggis is cut, to be served with swede, (neaps) and potato, (tatties.)

This is followed by a toast to Burns and some less formal toasts and ends with ‘Auld Lang Syne,’ (also by Burns) which is often sung as the clock strikes twelve on New Years Eve.

Who but the Brits could hold an evening of pomp and ceremony mingled with pipers, and poems to food with such comic seriousness? It is a wonderful tradition and a great shame that Burns never got to enjoy it himself.

I’ve just watched some innovative, funny creative television that is NOT reality TV, a talent show or stars competing in a skill that they have no training for, such as ice skating or singing.

‘Thank God You’re Here’ relies on actors and comedians to think on their feet and react to whatever situation is thrown at them. Its concept is slightly similar to old favourite ‘Whose Line Is It Anyway,’ I can honestly say it is the first programme I have really enjoyed for a long time.

We have humour, creative actors and comedians, great writers and a culture that lends itself to comedy so why we have so much crap TV is a mystery.

Let’s hope that the tide is turning, the wicked witch of reality and sub standard TV is dead and novel, exciting, interesting entertaining programmes will herald television Spring.

Some people prefer margarine and others prefer butter. I dislike margarine because its texture and colour is supposed to emulate butter and yet it is nothing like butter. The ‘buttery taste’ copies are not butter like, they are just a smudge nearer than ordinary margarine.

Vegetarian bacon, burgers or sausages should not really exist at all because there is no such thing. They also taste nothing like the meat they are emulating but vegetarians have no basis for comparison.

Fakes never match the original whether it is food, a painting or the latest offering of TV’s huge bucket of competitive star, wannabe, talent or skill programmes, ‘The One and Only.’ I have never understood why anyone would want to create a tribute act or band rather than something original. Even less do I understand the reasoning behind a programme where the winner; having been voted through each week and gone through all the highs and lows of the performances; only gets to be a copy of someone famous, something they were doing already.